[17] written by Swiss Pope

"What's this?" you ask, referring to the small black palmable
device with the words "DON'T PANIC" on the cover.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's a sort of electronic
book. It tells you everything you need to know about anything. That's
its job," says the Beholder.

You turn it over nervously in your hands.

"I like the cover," you say. "Don't Panic. It's the first
helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."

Suddenly, Douglas Adams comes trotting through the forest,
accompanied by his lawyers from Simon and Schuster, spouting off
gibberish about copyright infringement, then teleports you to Traal,
where you are promptly eaten by the mind boggling stupid Bugblatter
Beast. The end.