[62] written by Caitlin

You start to pull out your Boy Scout blade, but realize there are
walls made up of cucumbers and pizza. Blushing, you remember when you
were penetrated with a cucumber in a very uncomfortable place by your
baby sitter when you were 8 years old. You slide your hand quickly down
your pants, assuming that since you can't see anyone, that nobody is
really there. A small hole develops in the pizza wall, and Mother
Angelica, the popular televangelist, excretes through it like a sticky,
gooey puddle of mud. She reveals to you the secrets of the Universe
and you cry, realizing that when your great aunt masturbated with your
naked Totally Hair barbie, that you were voted to be thrown into a
bright pink jail cell, with a beautiful naked hermaphrodite. It's a
beautiful thing. The end.