[79] written by Soybean

You go to whip out your throbbing, rock-hard wand of light, only
to find it breaking off in your hands. Melissa's shrieks in fear, her
nipples retreat back into her clingy polyester shirt, and you realize
your last shot at becoming a real, sexual human being is lying
shriveled, becoming colder and greyer, in the palm of your shaking hand.
You collapse in angry, frightened tears -- sobbing so hard you begin to
hyperventilate. No oxygen is entering your lungs!!!! You die! The end.