[9] written by Art

As you hastily grab a handful of leaves from the shrubbery of the
forest and stick them in your ears to drown out the incessant whine
caused by your stupid friend's monologue, you swiftly realize two
things. One, that your hands just became twice as large as they were
moments ago and itch like a motherfucker, and, two, your ears are
beginning to pus and leak bodily fluids. Your already unbearable
migraine turns into a throbbing black hole of a headache... in your left
eye, fusing every single c-phiber in your swollen head. With one last
torturous wave of pain, your head explodes like an overripe melon from
the caustic effects of the Poison Ivy that you mistakenly plunged into
your unwitting ear canals. The end.